Untitled, for now
by Koneko Shampoo
Summary: There are three things in life that are certain: Death, taxes, and Shampoo glomping Ranma. When Akane goes on a date with Ryouga, a jealous Ranma retaliates by dating Shampoo. Little does he know, he'll get more than he bargains for... R/S
1. Realization

Oh! Hey out there! *coughcoughcough* Eh heh heh. Well. It certainly has been a while since I've updated. Gomenaisai! Gomenaisai!!!!!!! I didn't mean to forget about it!!! But, now that I've remembered, it's time to continue with one of the only Ranma/Shampoo fics out there!!!! And, no matter which couple the fic seems to be favouring, it's gonna turn out to be Shampoo/Ranma!!!!! Sorry if my chapters aren't too long. I really wanted to get at least one chpater done today, but I am quite ill, and my attention span wanes quickly. Plus, post-nasal drip and pressure in you ears makes you unable even sit up from too long of a time without you first wanting to rip your head off.  
  
OKAYYYYYYY!!!!! I'VE CHANGED THE STORY LAYOUT!!!!! THE PROLOUGE (which was really short and probably shouldn't have even been a prologue) IS NOW ADDED ONTO THIS CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Ranma characters, nor am I from Finland. However, I am of Scandinavian descent, and am quite proud of it.   
  
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Saotome Ranma cursed his ill luck as he sped across the fence, towards school. "Kuso-" he began, before being run over by a large, metallic object.  
  
"Nihao Ranma!" an over-enthusiastic Shampoo exclaimed, prying her bike of the squashed martial artist.  
  
"Wha?" muttered Ranma. But before he could continue, the indigo- haired amazon was hugging him tightly.  
  
"Aiyaa! Airen! Shampoo missed Ranma!" Little swirls replaced Ranma's eyes as a jealous Akane heaved a leather book bag straight towards the bridge of his nose.  
  
*WHAM* A large vein popped out of Akane's head as Ranma went tumbling into the 'conviently' located drain system just on the other side of the fence. Shampoo cast a frosty glare at the jealous fiance as she nimbly hopped over the fence in order to help Ranma up.  
  
"Is Airen all-" began Shampoo, but she was cut off as she slipped in the water. Ranma gingerly rubbed her nose as she picked up Akane's sodden book bag. At that precise moment, the neko-Shampoo attached herself to Ranma's head and began to mew loudly.  
  
"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" screamed female Ranma, running round like a crazed lunatic. "GET IT OFFA ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Akane, feeling somewhat chastised, attempted to pry the cat off Ranma's head, but was only rewarded with a fresh set of scratches.  
  
"Mreow!" exlclaimed Neko-Shampoo loudly, sneering at Akane Her retractable claws slid back into their sheaths with an ominous 'shik' as she leapt down from her perch. Akane aimed a kick at the cat but missed by a hair as Shampoo scrambled away, smugly sticking out her tongue at the youngest of the Tendou girls.  
  
"Baka cat...." mumbled Akane darkly as she yanked the unconscious form of female Ranma, by way of her pigtail, towards school. "Will she never leave him alone?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Cologne was perched happily on her walking stick in the kitchen of the Cat Cafe, reminiscing about life before she was a shriveled crone, when she felt the reoccuring nudge of a blunt object on her ankle.   
  
"Ah, Shampoo! Welcome back!" she said, nochalantly pouring the contents of a kettle onto the head of the cat.  
  
"Great-Grandmother," Shampoo, now in human form, began. "Why is Ranma near Tendou girl all of time?" She said, referring to Akane. Cologne turned to Shampoo.  
  
"It is because they go to the same school. It also doesn't help that they live under the same roof."  
  
"That not mean Ranma has to be with her all of time!!!" Shampoo exclaimed angrily. Cologned sighed,and patted her great granddaughter on the hand.  
  
"Shampoo, I know you that you know this, and maybe you just don't want to admit it, but both Ranma and Akane share feelings for each other. I do not know how deep these feelings are. They might be tiny attractions, or it could be love. But, either way, they are both in denial. They both try hard to cover up any feeling they might hold for one another."  
  
Upon hearing this, Shampoo lowered her gaze and bit her lower lip as the tears threatened to spill out.  
  
"But Shampoo love Ranma!!!" She yelled. "If Akane not even tell Ranma she love him, then why he like her?!?!? Shampoo do anything for Ranma! But he just ignore Shampoo!!! Shampoo pour out heart to Ranma, and he not even notice!" Now the tears were coming out, torrents streaming down her pale face. Shampoo turned away from her great-grandmother, and ran out of the kitchen, and out of the restaruant, heedless of the customers she had just knocked down.  
  
"Owww....." said Ryouga, watching Shampoo's figure recede into the distance. "What's her deal?" he asked.  
  
Cologne too, watched the girl disappear from view.   
  
"I am sorry, great-grand daughter."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
At the Tendou Dojo, Tendou Akane was sitting on her bed, fiddling with a pencil, and procrastinating on her homework. She flopped down, and now, lying eagle-spread, began to mutter absently.  
  
"Why does Shampoo always have to follow Ranma around? It's so annoying. Can't she see Ranma doesn't want her attention?"   
  
((A/N: This story would, I guess, take place sometime in the middle of the series, before Shampoo has tried on the Jewel of Reversal. Oh, I'm not going by the TV series, I'm saying the mid-point of the manga that is out and translated. There's 21 volumes so far, (in Englilish) the Jewel of Reversal is in book 20.))  
  
"Jealous?"  
  
"Augh!" said Akane, blushing profusely. "Why do you always have to eavesdrop, Ranma!?!?!?"  
  
"Relax, relax. It's just me." said Nabiki, entering the room and casually tossing a wad of cash onto the desk. She turned to Akane, and adopted an impish grin. "So, why are you jealous?" Akane turned her back to the middle Tendou child, and folded her arms across her chest.  
  
"I'm NOT saying that I'm jealous! Why would I be jealous? There's no reason for me to be jealous. I loathe Ranma. All I'm saying is I get peeved when a freakish girl from a Chinese amazon tribe, who happens to have horrible grammar, follows Ranma, with whom I am forced to walk to and from school with, around." ((A/N Whew. That's quite a mouthful. Speaking of bad grammar, forgive me if I used some bad grammar, or punctuation, back there!))  
  
"You're really that jealous?"  
  
"SHUT UP NABIKI!!!!" said Akane, throwing her schoolbooks at the bridge of Nabiki's nose.  
  
"Touchy today, aren't we?" muttered Nabiki darkly. She clutched a handfull of rags to her nose, which was gushing blood.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I'm going out Pop!" Ranma called, and deftly leaped out the kitchen window of the Tendou dojo.  
  
"Wait, Ranma! I forgot that I had a package for you!" Kasumi called, handing a twine-bound parcel to Ranma. The martial artist grabbed it, and ripped off the paper and bonds.  
  
"Another challenge?" he said, somewhat annoyed. He took the letter, which was sloppily written and stained with sobi sauce, and studied it.   
  
'Ranma,  
Meet me at Cat Cafe tomorrow at 4. I have questions to ask you.'  
  
---  
  
"No signature?" Ranma queried. "Oh well. I'm not doing much tomorrow. I hope it's worthwhile."   
  
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That's the end of this chapter! Don't worry, it gets better!!! This chapter was boring, but necessary to move the fic along.Tune in next time to see who that mysterious, noodle marinade stained letter is from, and what they want to talk to Ranma about, as well as a good dose of action!!! 


	2. Confrontation

Hiyas again! I'm still sick, so I'm taking my absence from school as an opportunity to get some more written! Thanks to all you who are reviewing! The story gets off to a slow start, but this chapter should be more interesting.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Ranma ½ characters. They are the sole property of Ms. Rumiko Takahashi, whom I hold in the highest esteem. I do, however, own Mongolian gerbils. They're so cute! ^.^  
  
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***Flashback***  
  
Mousse walked quickly down the pavement, hands tucked into opposing sleeves. He was, once again, late for his day job at the Cat Café.  
  
"Cologne's gonna pound me." He muttered, distressed.  
  
*WHAM*  
  
Mousse's thick lenses flew off his face as somebody rushed past him, knocking him down onto the sidewalk, where he landed painfully on his backside. "Kuso!" he cursed, rubbing his injured rump. Squinting, he put on his large spectacles and was barely able to make out a figure rapidly disappearing into the distance.  
  
"Shampoo?" he asked, confused. He lifted himself off the ground, and noticed the pavement was stained with water. "Tears...?" he asked, even more confused. "Why would Shampoo be crying...?"It took a few seconds before he came to a reasonable conclusion. "SAOTOME!!!!" he yelled, to no one in particular. "SAOMTOME YOU JERK!!!!!!"  
  
***End Flashback***  
  
Ranma stopped running momentarily to glance at his watch.  
  
"3:59?!?!?" he exclaimed, disbelieving. "Crap! I'm gonna be late!" He set off again, this time at a quicker pace, stopping only to profusely apologize to the large number of elderly females he seemed to be knocking down. The martial artist finally reached his destination, and panted heavily as he leaned against the side of the building for support. The door to the restaurant jingled as he followed an elderly woman into the cafe.  
  
"Saotome Ranma!!!" A voice called out, and a knife whizzed past Ranma, cutting him on the cheek. Ranma looked around, and spotted the person who had been waiting for him.  
  
"Mousse! Nice to see you!" said Ranma, voice dripping with pseudo-cheerfulness. He rubbed his wrist against cut, assessing the damage. The pigtailed martial artist smirked. "Hardly touched me."  
  
"Saotome!" Mousse yelled again, grabbing Ranma by the shirt collar. "Saotome, you disgust me!"  
  
"Uh, Mousse-" Ranma ventured, before he was cut off.  
  
"Shut your mouth, jerk!" Mousse snapped.  
  
"Mousse," Ranma said again. "Mousse, I'm over here." The Chinese boy squinted, and shoved his spectacles further up his nose.  
  
"Oh." Mousse said, gently releasing a dishevelled old lady from his grasp. He was rewarded with a sharp kick in the shins, a rap on his cranium with a weighted handbag, and flurry of curses coming from the mouth of the disgruntled, elderly woman whom he had assaulted. Ranma smiled cheerfully.  
  
"She has such a colourful vocabulary!"  
  
"Shut up." Said an embarrassed Mousse. Ranma smirked again, and took a seat at an empty table.  
  
"So, what'd you want to talk about?"  
  
"I believe there is only one thing concerning you that I am interested in." said Mousse, folding his hands into his sleeves and adopting a serious tone. Ranma mulled over his words his words for a moment.  
  
"Shampoo?"  
  
"Correct."  
  
"What about Shampoo?" asked Ranma. Mousse's eyes took on a deadly glare.  
  
"Don't play dumb with me, Saotome. I believe you know perfectly well."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Ukyo!"  
  
Ukyo didn't bother to even glance up from all the okonomiyaki that she was frying. She unsheathed several spatulas, and dexterously flipped the multiple pancakes. Her hands were blurs as she generously ladled them with sauces.  
  
"Hey, Ryouga." She responded. Taking out her large spatula, she adroitly slid the okonomiyaki into a box, leaving one out for Ryouga. "Whatcha want?" she asked, and glanced up from the shrimp she was frying. Ryouga's ripped, muddy clothes and dirty face spoke for themselves. "In a kingdom with no sense of direction." she began. "You'd be emperor."  
  
"Keh." Ryouga mumbled, annoyed. "I didn't come here for small talk"  
  
"Then what did you come here for?" she asked. Ryouga blushed crimsom.  
  
"I-I- I want-t you to set me up on another d-date w-w-w-with A-a-ak-k-kane." he stuttered. Ukyo smiled.  
  
"Anything to keep her away from my Ran-chan."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Delivery for Tendou Akane!" Ukyo yelled cheerfully.   
  
"What?" said Akane, pushing aside the screen door to the Tendou dojo. "Oh. Hey Ukyo. What do you have for me?" Ukyo grinned mischievously.  
  
"Just a gift from an admirer."  
  
"It'd better not be Ranma playing any tricks on me." grumbled Akane. She took the insulated package in her hands and opened it, revealing and okonomiyaki with a message written on it in sobi sauce.  
  
'Akane,  
Meet me at the park 1 o'clock on Saturday  
-Ryouga'  
  
Akane stared at the pancake for a second.   
  
"I bet somehow Ranma's behind this..." she began.  
  
"No, no." said Ukyo. "I can assure you Ryouga himself came into my stand and asked in person." Akane mulled over this for a second. She had mixed feelings over Ranma, as well as Ryouga. Sure, she liked Ryouga as a friend, but, did she really want to date him? What would Ranma do if- Her thoughts cut off.  
  
"Ranma" she muttered darkly.  
  
Ranma was probably planning to ruin the date, as well as ruin Ryouga's life. She'd go on the date with Ranma, and make sure nothing would happen to ruin it.  
  
"What did you say?" Ukyo inquired, derailing Akane's train of thought. Akane smiled cheerfully.  
  
"Me? Oh, nothing, nothing. Thanks for stopping by!!!"  
  
"No problem." said Ukyo, jumping down from the dojo deck, and shutting the screen door. When Ukyo had left, Akane clutched the Okonomiyaki note in her hands walked up the stairs towards her room.  
  
I'm not gonna let Ranma keep doing this to Ryouga! I'll show him! He's never gonna mess with Ryouga's life, or my life, ever again!  
  
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Cliffie! Heh heh. Okay, not as much action in this chapter as I had planned, but, that's because I changed the story layout. I would've liked to make this chapter longer, but, in order to achieve my desired suspense effect, I'm gonna stop it here. ^_^ What? ACKKKK!!!!! NOOO DON'T KILL ME! GOMENAISAIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!! Oh, and, don't for get to tune in next time to see: What Mousse wants to talk to Ranma about, how Ryouga and Akane's date begins, plus, a changce to peer into the mind of *trumpets blaring* RANMA SAOTOME!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. AN VERY IMPORTANT, YOU MUST READ!

*~*~*~*~*~*~AUTHOR'S NOTE~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I HAVE CHANGED THE LAYOUT OF THIS STORY. CHAPTER 1&2 HAVE BEEN COMBINED, AND WHAT WAS GOING TO BE CHAPTER 3 IS NOW CHAPTER 2. SO, IF YOU READ THIS STORY BEFORE CHAPTER 1 & 2 WERE COMBINED, THEN GO BACK AND READ THE NEW CHAPTER 2!!!!!!!!! THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE WILL BECOME PART OF CHAPTER 3 WHEN IT IS PUT UP. BUT FOR NOW, GO READ THE NEW CHAPTER 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


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